Touch My Soul
by RandyPandy
Summary: Currently, this takes place in the far future of the Original Series. It might eventually branch off into the X Series. It reflects the moods of various MM characters. Chapter 3: X.
1. MegaMan

Touch My Soul: MegaMan

They say I've changed. I don't understand what they mean. But they say that my mood has gotten a lot darker ever since that final attack by Wily. The attack that killed off most of my family. I managed to stop Wily again, but the cost of living was too great.

More than usual, I find myself wandering the city in street clothes seeing how my actions had an effect on others. I would see these giant billboards proclaiming "MegaMan is a Hero!" or "Blue Bomber does it Again!" They make it seem like I did a great thing. Can't they see that this killing me inside? Those news-people and the others still don't understand that I'm not just another machine... I'm pretty sure they think that my programming feels lost without Dr. Light to order me around. No one knew that Dr. Light never ordered me around, I did whatever I wanted, whether he wanted me to or not.

So screw what the public says. I'll live the way I want, in secret now. Moving constantly... now I see why ProtoMan was afraid to get too close to us... I want them back... I hate this life... if I could change it, I'd do it in a heartbeat... or as close to a heartbeat I'll ever get with my mechanical heart.

I never go out in uniform anywhere. If I have to wear the uniform, I wear it at home. Nowhere else. I don't want people mobbing me, asking for my autograph. I've seen the reporters on TV questioning my whereabouts, and also "famous" people asking me to go out in public. Publicity is something I despise.

As for Wily? He knows he wounded me emotionally, and I know he'll be looking for the day where I'll drop my guard and he'll take me out. That's why I see his Robot Masters frequently in the streets now, searching for me. They never recognize me in street clothes, and ProtoMan knows how to deal with them. He never let them find out where I am either. Thanks, big brother. Only three people know where I am: Dr. Sergei Cossack, Kalinka Cossack, and of course, ProtoMan Light.

Sergei Cossack is worried about me, for one thing. He mentioned to me once that keeping feelings bottled inside is not a good thing, as the surplus of emotions might cause a mental breakdown. I appreciate his parental concern, but I'll do what I want. Kalinka pretty much thinks the same thing, but her concern is more friend-like. Much as I love having her as a good friend that'll be there for me, I need a lot of private time.

The one person I can confide to, however, is my brother, ProtoMan. He understands what I'm going through, as his family was my family. He's pretty much all I have left in my life; I'll die if I lose him. The reason no one asks ProtoMan where I am is because everyone is too scared to approach him. I'm glad no one does, but it still hurts that everyone adores you and then despises the one person who made a difference in your life.

My brother... how can I describe him? Smart, quiet, mysterious... definitely. Evil? Heck no! Had he been evil, he would have left me in the wreckage of the lab. He wouldn't have bothered to search for me, to take care of my injuries, help me control my emotions. He wouldn't have bothered to assist me in getting my revenge against Wily for the deaths of Dr. Light, Roll, and the others. And he most definitely would not have done everything in his power to do just to see a smile on my face. Yes, I rarely smile anymore, much less laugh out loud. Simply put, I would've died without him.

No one in the public knows what my soul feels. Wily has an idea of how I might be feeling, but he doesn't know my true soul. Dr. Cossack and Kalinka have seen small glimpses. ProtoMan is the only one I give permission to truly touch my soul...

**Author's Notes**: Whew! Had to get that out of my head. Now, I'll finish that other fic I'm planning.


	2. ProtoMan

Touch My Soul: ProtoMan

ProtoMan muses on how the death of his family changed his and MegaMan's lives forever, and, naturally, his worry for MegaMan. He tries to protect his brother from the Robot Masters hunting for him.

I worry. It seems like that's all I ever do nowadays. Who do I worry about? MegaMan. My little brother, my angel. Sweet, innocent, and loving. Well, he used to be. Now he shuts himself away from the real world and refuses to talk to anybody but me, Sergei Cossack, and Kalinka, but even then, only barely.

I keep him with me, scared that one day Wily's Robot Master's will catch him. If he is caught... I refuse to consider what might happen to him. Why did this happen? Why did Dr. Light and Roll die in that attack? Why? Why?

I got to Dr. Light's place rather late, and Wily had already taken off. I looked around desperately for some signs of life... I found none. None, except for MegaMan who had been knocked out and was almost completely buried under some debris in his room. I dug him out of the debris and studied him. He was in pretty bad shape.

His Slide adaptor was destroyed. So were his Super Arrow, Wire, and Balloon adaptors. The Rush and Beat adaptors I scrapped; with Rush and Beat dead, there was no need to have those. His reflexes are now much slower and he can't raise his left arm for too long. His Buster couldn't do anything but shoot sparks anymore. But he refused to let that hinder him. He pretended that he didn't even need them.

Not long after the attack, before MegaMan had been repaired, I decided to go out and get some stuff from the Auto store so that I could keep him alive while he was unconscious. While I was heading back, I saw something that nearly made my mechanical heart freeze: Robot Masters. Quickly, I fell back into my old 'mysterious' routine. I scrambled up a building nearby, hid in the shadows, and listened.

It was Wily, talking to his Robot Masters in a dark alley. He told them that he hadn't found MegaMan in the wreckage, and to be sure to keep an eye out for him. That worried me. I wasn't much of a robotics expert, but I realized that if MegaMan runs into the Robot Masters, he'd be toast, mostly because his weapons system was nearly destroyed. The most he'd be able to do is shoot sparks.

He never smiled after that day, much less laughed. His eyes always seem to hold quite a bit of darkness inside them. It scares me a little, but I learned to deal with it. I know he is hurting inside, and I try to comfort him as best as I can, but I know it isn't enough.

Occasionally, he gets the urge to go outside. I let him, but I don't allow him to wear the uniform. He didn't want to wear it either, because 1) the silly humans would want to lavish praise on him, especially since Dr. Wily wasn't attacking the city, and 2) the Robot Masters were hunting for him, and they would look twice at a blue robot, whereas they wouldn't care about someone that looked like a human boy.

Of course, the humans DO want to lavish praise on him, and are looking for him to do just that. I'm easily spotted in the streets. However, still frightened by the DarkMan robot that had disguised himself as me, no one approaches me. It sorta bugged me that they still believe that I'm evil and one of Wily's robots, but then I realized that I could pretty damn well do what I wanted without them opposing me. If hiding MegaMan is part of what I wanted to do, so be it.

And then, five years go by after that day, and nothing has changed. I've managed to get him to talk to me a little more about his feelings, and he smiles occasionally, but I've yet to see him laugh. Other times, I would place him in my lap and simply hold him and rock him when some sad memory resurfaced and he would cry.

It hurts to see him cry, mostly because I hardly saw him cry before that final attack. He cries a lot more often nowadays.

MegaMan... my little angel. I won't let Wily get his hands on you. I promise.

Randy: So, I decided to make this a continuation of the previous one. I'm planning on doing musings for more characters (yes, even Bass and Wily), and somehow even do musings on X series characters.


	3. X

Touch My Soul: X

As X gazes at a mirror, he wonders whether the reflection of the robot staring back is truly him, or whether he is only a pale imitation of the person he once was. He wonders about his lost memories and what they mean.

Heh. Finally decided to write another chapter of this. As the title obviously says, this time I'm writing X's thoughts. Some things may not be canon, but realize that I actually started writing this chapter on... June 21, 2005?! Has it really been two years?! Whoa... my knowledge of the universe was quite limited back then, so deal with any inconsistencies this fic may have.

* * *

The day finally ended, and I was in the room that the Hunters had given me. A Reploid named Zero had taken to shepherding me around Hunter HQ. He was also the one, I learned, that had found me. 

As I swing myself around to go to bed, my gaze falls on the mirror next to my dresser. I stop, staring at the mirror. A boy dressed in slim blue armor stares back at me. His eyes are a brilliant emerald green, and his black hair is messy. Those same emerald eyes have sadness and pain in them.

Who is he? Is that boy truly me? How can I be this young, innocent-looking youth? I raise my hand and my reflection does the same. I let my hand drop, still staring at the reflection. There are many things to say that I am someone else. For example, that red-and-white shield Zero found with me. It's obviously not mine. I must have gotten is from someone. But whom?

There was also the matter of my "new" name, even though it's the only one I know. I was named after the armor schematics that Cain found inside a hidden compartment on the shield. The X Armor.

And strangest of all, my body. When the doctor, Lifesaver, had been doing a physical, he noticed that I had several scars on my back. He looked a bit horrified, and when I asked him about them, he said that only electro-whips leave those types of marks. That nearly scared the life out of Dr. Cain and Zero.

I was physically abused... is that why my reflection looks sad? Was it because that deep down inside me, inside my mechanical heart, I knew I had had a horrible past? I didn't want to think about it.

After undressing and pulling on a white T-Shirt and some blue shorts, I curled up on the bed and lay there for a few minutes. There was hardly anything inside the room except for this bed, a desk, some chairs, a closet, and a bathroom. So it was pretty natural that I spotted my shield propped up against the wall next to the desk. Cain must have left it there after examining it.

That shield is strange. While I don't know where it comes from, or why it was with me, I feel... strangely attached to it. Why, I don't know. But I do know that it means a lot to me, for whatever reason.

For some strange reason, a wave of loneliness went through me. The bed seemed strangely empty, even though there was no room in it except for me. Even with the blanket, it felt cold and lonely. I close my eyes and try to block out those feelings, feelings that I was obviously remembering.

I began to hum softly. A particular tune had come to my head, and I decided to hum it. At least I was doing something. Strangely, the humming comforts me. It felt... comforting, warm.

Once I stop humming, I start to feel lonely again. Any memories I had of that tune obviously had been pleasant, which only makes me think more. What happened? Who hurt me? Did anyone even miss me?

On the other hand, I'm not sure whether I really want to know. It may only cause more pain and suffering. But will I ever find out? Dr. Cain and Lifesaver had examined me. They believe that my memories had not been deleted, but are still there, buried deep within my subconscious. Apparently, they were either corrupted in such a fashion that I was unable to read them, or...

Or I had blocked them.

I can only ponder so much about my memories. But I am certain of one thing – I need to be careful. Whoever hurt me is still probably out there. Until I know otherwise, I cannot reveal that I am an amnesiac. I must also be careful and never lose that shield. It's the only clue to who I am. I am certain that it is not mine, that it was given to me by someone else, someone who cared. I need to find this person.

I need to find the person who was able to touch my soul...

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Yep. Review? 


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